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Reflections

Para los de nuestra misma edad.

Moderadores: billpatt, Kilometro29

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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Mié Sep 28, 2011 3:35 am

The words of some men are thrown forcibly against you and adhere like burrs.
-Henry David Thoreau, naturalist and author (1817-1862)
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Jue Oct 06, 2011 7:18 pm

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're
the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat
them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle
of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their
Maker..

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you
won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and
some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they
all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today!


AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

20 * Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate !
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor javsolis3 » Vie Oct 07, 2011 8:59 am

No tengo cuarenta pero usted tiene buenos chistes


HOMBE! Gracias, pero, no son míos!! ...a mi me los mandan, y después de casi morirme de la risa, los pongo aquí. :bandido:
Una gran filosofía no es la que instala la verdad definitiva, es la que produce una inquietud.
Charles Péguy (1873-1914) Escritor francés.
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Lun Oct 17, 2011 11:24 am

'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? '

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed with pride

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're a President to do that! You can come over to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds, trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? '

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me."
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Vie Oct 28, 2011 9:37 am

Esto no es un chiste.... es una realidad que solo puesto en estas palabras llega a calar...
El hombre blanco se equivocó creyendo que traía al nuevo mundo una civilización mejor...



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No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Lun Nov 07, 2011 7:18 pm

Adult Truths
1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing is more annoying than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Jue Ago 30, 2012 9:12 am

CHILDREN, ON MARRIAGE





-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10


2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then..
-- Camille, age 10


3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8


4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8


5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10


6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 ( Love her )

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8


7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )


8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is .......


9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Jue Mar 14, 2013 6:07 pm

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:"Tried everything twice.
Loved it both times!"

2. Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle.'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud.Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6.. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips..
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

I love you, my special friend!

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance..

And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares? But do share this with someone.

Remember! Lost time can never be found.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Wine does not make you FAT .... it makes you LEAN .....
(against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

LOVE TO YOU MY FRIENDS!
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Jue May 09, 2013 9:33 am

Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
:evil:
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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Re: Reflections

Notapor billpatt » Sab May 11, 2013 7:24 am

Paraprosdokians are phrases or sentences that lead us down the garden path to an unexpected ending.

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a paraprosdokian
-- Winston Churchill loved them.


1. Do not argue with idiots.
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who still remains...

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,'
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career.
Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness,
but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding
someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first
and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
:lic:
No es más rico quien más tiene, sino quien menos necesita!
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